Still Here

I just wanted to thank all my visitors for being patient while my transition back to the US is taking some time. I give you my promise that more writings are on the way as soon as I can clear my head and breathe. It feels good to be back!

-Charles Sapp

Farewell to China

Photo: Confucius and I

I write this as a farewell to Beijing, China and finally open up about a place that I have lived, breathed and experienced. This is more of an introduction at the tip of the iceberg; I am sure that as time progresses with my return home, more details about my life in China will surface. I've included various photos of my stay in Beijing on my blog as well to further document this experience. This entry is important because it has been here that I've found inspiration for all of my poems written–

Reflection By Charles Sapp II

My adventure while living abroad has been memorable and allowed me to grow as a conscientious being. The moment I stepped foot on a different culture’s soil, all expectations drained from my mind down to my feet and exited into the ancient land of Beijing China; this is when my soul searching began.

I imagined China as being like the movies, where old men with long beards and mustaches wearing large sleeved robes and sandals walked slowly with their hands behind their back, while music of erhus, zhengs and dizis play mystically in the background with plumes of incense fog pervading the air like spirits wandering the streets. To one’s amazement Beijing was quite modern and up on times, especially for being a communist country and just recently opening its doors to foreigners.

Living abroad as a vampire is not ideal and I do not recommend it. My fiancée and I worked late nights to mimic the American work schedule which demanded a lot of sheer willpower and sacrifice to our social life and natural biorhythms. Becoming familiar with your surroundings and getting your bearings on track, took time. My fiancée and I had to paste addresses of places in Chinese to a notebook to communicate with taxis to be able to get around. This was a painstaking task, and all throughout one must stay leery since it is known that foreigners are targets of scams and are taken advantage of frequently. We had our fair share of long detours and taken out of the way to raise the taxi fare, not to mention the cost of items in markets are astronomically inflated also.

The food is magnificent, but quite different than the common Chinese food found in the US. It proved extremely difficult to know what to order, just because it said chicken didn’t mean that it was skinless or boneless, it could’ve been the feet, head, knuckles of the chicken or strictly bone. You kind of learn to choose from the menu that had pictures and if it was good, stick with it. We found places that served American food and became the dominant source of food during our stay. There is also the obvious such as the smog, it really lets you cherish the moment when you have clear blue skies, which are extremely rare. Coming from California, it is outside of my comfort zone when making sure that restrooms are not squat toilets. I am a large man without the flexibility and having to utilize a squat toilet is out of the question! I could continue on with a long list of dislikes such as public displays of spitting, but I would like to adhere to the positive experiences.

Looking back, the profound experience that I will take with me forever was the soul searching and I found my soul mate to be 100% compatible, since we literally spent 24 hours together 7 days a week; the longest time we spent apart may have been 2 hours while she went shopping. This is a testament to our relationship and allowed us to endure and experience every side our personalities and character. Not many couples can say that they’ve done so on foreign soil, unless they were stranded on a deserted island, so cheers to us and our upcoming vows of marriage in April, 2009.

Higher Forms

By Charles Sapp II

I combat radioactive ignorance by the reconstruction of a defense mechanism
that adapts to immune deficient organisms that are invisible to eyes and naked from reality,
these are nature’s building blocks
heavy elements fused at the molecular core at the hearts of extraordinary stars.
Sharing their light, so I may summon the history of every noun and utter every verb
that flutters the sound of chaos like the wings of a butterfly,
time stains its progress;
whereas light proves its existence in vivid color and real-time testimonials.

The Sun beats down shadows,
disintegrating the photon material,
illuminating the curvature contour and compound structure of its massive framework.
This human,
that reflects on the tradition celebrated by man-unkindness;
gravity that keeps this amalgamation of virtuosity and vitality in harmonious order.

Evolution in continuance, thoughts progressed forward like instruments
and resonating influence in sonic forms of rhythmic waves in movement.

While I’ve starved and restricted this outlet
as collective ingestions of information that feeds this soul with energy.
Recent memories forged from distant recollections;
my birthrights as an entity that is aware of its composition
and position in worldly aspects aspiring the future.
Preparedness allows the voice to speak loudly when recorded on sheets of blank matter
adding volume with expressive forms of communication.
I speak with a verbal soul, with a scientific dialect from a universal culture;
relating with sentient beings, this expression exhibits human experience,
gathering all cultivated concepts as a root system to further ground the need for flight.

Cluttered from an existence to where everything matters;
finding out that genius is irregular oddities devised by mediocrity;
flushing the system on occasion brings forth order by coordinating a mélange of thoughts
with synonymous versions of vernacular convergence, whereas without the tools of mediation this is all nonsense written loudly, adding volume with expressive forms of communication and knowing that no matter how much you erase, you can never eradicate the impression left on the perceived notion of reality given to you.

Behold those with higher forms of ignorance.

A Man and His Dreams

Dreams that take on a transformation may be the caterpillar in its chrysalis stage. I find that rapid growth and development of the consciousness and awareness of the environment we help create as subdivisions of our reality are equally translated within our dreams and subconscious in dramatic ways. The brain may be connecting with the inner energy of self and the vivid realism which leaves you with an experience that has a long lasting impression—

By Charles Sapp II

A man and his dreams
living for the moment, a silent retreat—escaping
towards creative outlets landscaping his ethereal mind wandering.

Tranquility envelops him whole,
absorbing the essence of presence within the material world.
A transformation through meditation and astral projection,
catapulting his awareness towards the sky and beyond the heavens.
Eyes staring with a lucid fixation
with exaggerated vivid imagery.
Bearing the watermark at birth,
distinguishing his future
as an air sign leading towards atmospheric liberation.

Surrounded by spheres
alternating colors as if communicating his subconscious,
interpreting a forgotten language.
Taking flight, while light pours from the eyes
surveying the land with all matter seen
at hand’s touch truth is within grasp.

Taking heed of his metaphor
without form nor shape,
invisible like the wind with presence felt.
A man and his dreams
summoning the latent power of earthbound solitude
an entity with a hungry Sun to his right and a thirsty Moon to his left.

The Glass Orb of Critical Love

By Charles Sapp II

The comfort of familiar faces,
is the figment of the imagination.
An illness embedded at childhood
and the magnified resistance,
pushing further away towards the abyss.

A common bond with foreign blood,
where expectations outweigh innuendos fueled with disappointments.
Love loss equates to blood loss and the sense of disappearing
from a lofty wind ascending to the clouds.
Transported to fantasy lands to love afar
and forcefully forget the hurt inflicted and guilt
from the shadowed personas painted close.

Dashes and streaks of color inhabit the canvas,
a creative representation
of artist’s vision scrutinized and judged by critics.

Properly proportioned, equally balanced,
maintaining poise in posture;
the feeling of being well grounded,
a positive shift of equilibrium.

Polarities give way to a centered median
as the currents of the sea swell with kinetic potential;
encapsulated within a glass orb,
unaware of itself and its nature.
Like the disposition of childhood angst against those that love blindly,
but with watchful eyes.

As nature is governed by the laws
which influence behavior with characteristic action;
self propelled energy held in a closed palm
restrained from its destined future.

Immortal Love

I once experienced a time when the future was clouded with doubt as thick and complex as hurricane clouds. This poem is the testament that the Sun does break away the clouds and the purity of light penetrates the darkness, it may come in different luminous forms, however mine came in the form of love.

By Charles Sapp II

Before I knew her,
my life was forever affected
and the serum for recovery was her love.

Spiral staircases leading nowhere
amid a labyrinth maze without outer walls;
caught in the confusion with no direction,
lost among the wanderers, fading within the shadows defined by distance.
A dream interpreted by the crossroads of life
and the transitions of opportunity developed by choice;
well constructed by the confrontation of fear
and the defeat of disability and mental paralysis.

With eyes closed, space expands infinite without limitations and physical barriers.
The oceans appear deeper and the sky is wider;
later realizing that the power lies within.
I take a deep breath and travel inward,
swimming through the dark waters within self
and reach the center of light that has dimmed to a faint glint.

Distorted images pervade my awareness—in remembrance.
Her warmth revived my spirit.
Her touch reassembled my broken trust.
Her kiss breathed new life to a tired body,
that could no longer hurdle any more of life’s obstacles, let alone take another step.
Her presence resurrected a revised me;
metaphorically re-engineered with faith, confidence and strength of will.

With starlit candles,
I want to celebrate our love,
basking in the moonlight as her eyes glow and dance to my eyes;
the jewel of my life.
Romantically enthralled and captivated by graceful maneuvers, waltzing with my soul,
as we double date with our emotional and physical love.
Love so potent, it cannot be extracted
as it clings to the surface of our fused hearts.
My love for her is timeless,
I will plant a field of her,
to bear fruit of future seeds;
therefore making her immortal.